I see dumb people

I am sure that everyone thinks that their customers are the stupidest people they ever met, and I have heard of some really stupid people. But I get some on a daily basis that I just want to slap.
I am a photographer and 6 days a week I take pictures of kids mostly. I do pretty well with them. It is the adults that I get a little flustered with. Whether they are the parents or the subject. They are never happy and always want the million dollar smile. Which I have succeeded in AFTER I have kicked out the parent. Here are some for instances to keep you entertained.

Before every session I explain to the customer that we do not have the option to take five photos then let you pick and chose the one that is your favorite. The one you say yes to is the one that becomes the package and it is always the first picture we take, all pictures you say no to are deleted and we can not get them back. We get 5 tries to get it right. I also explain to them that is one package per family and it is only one pose with your choice of background. I also tell them that I do 6 additional poses these are mandotory and that I need to take them because of how the system is programmed. This is also how I make my money. Some get it but most...... well you'll see.

THE PARENTS: This lady came in last week. She had 2 boys and 1 girl. I explained to her the requirements. She argued the fact that Ollan Mills (k-mart) and Sears allow you to choose what you want. I returned the arguement that we were not them and that we held our own policies. After arguing for 15 minutes she gives in and we prepare for the shoot. Setting the kids on the table and getting them aligned I was ready to take pictures. The first shot and she wants the background changed. Second shot she wants her oldest son to be closer to his little sister. Third shot she decides she does not like ANY of it and wants them positioned different. After spending 5 minutes to reset the kids and calm them down we take the picture. Fourth shot she decides she like the way they were posed in the first shot. I explain to her that we only have one more shot left and if it is not right we need to reschedule. Putting the kids back into the first position we take our fifth shot. She don't like how they are smiling and wants another background. I am a nice guy so I go ahead and do it one more time. Still No. I tell her we can do no more and that we need to reschedule. She decides she wants to look at the last 6 pictures taken and choose from one of those.....*sigh* Again I need to explain. She was not happy that the pictures got deleted and decides that she don't want any of them and leaves.
Another customer the other day. A father brings in his 2 kids. He chose the pose and the background I just took the shot. He didn't like the kids smiles. Redo, same smiles, still dont like it. Third time same smiles. I rotate chairs and make them face the other direction, and we do a fourth. The same smiles again, which are perfect btw. Fifth shot again the exact same look but now both of his kids have their eyes pointing at the ceiling. He loves it and keeps it.
About a month ago I had a mother with 2 girls. The girls were models and needed some portfolios. The very first picture was the two of them together. I worked hard. Every single picture the mother changed their clothes and redid their hair. That is 7 changes. Took an hour and a half to do. Thank god I am a new studio and don't get a whole lot of business. After making every single picture the bomb and very proud of myself we go to the sales computer and she does not want anything but the package. Trust me I was pissed. And the finally. The father brought in his 2 kids, a boy and a girl. He was to start off rude. We finally got into position and I approached the little girl to get her smile. She screamed as loud as she could like I was killing her. The father looks up at me and says "She is scared of strangers". You know what tell the fucking photographer this shit BEFORE we start the pictures. This is information we need. He decided he would walk his daughter around and come back in 5 minutes he never returned. I could go on but I will stop and go to kids.

THE KIDS: I have taken ALOT of kids pictures. The ones that just make me exhausted are the ones that are not watched. I had 2 kids at a store I was working at about a month ago that kept turning off the power to my computers. While I was in the middle of a shoot.
One little boy 2 weeks ago was so high strung that alot of the pictures I took of him were off center cause he was always moving or trying to climb off the table. The parents just watched thinking I was going to catch him, entertain him, and get the million dollar smile. Only two came out decent.
One little girl last friday I was attempting to do a single pose on her. I would tell her to smile and she would open her mouth as wide as it would go and throw her head back. Really attracting. Her mom would tell that is not a smile and she would get this whimpering voice and say I don't know what my smile looks like. We showed her some smiles but she began to cry cause she didn't know what her smile was. So I showed her a picture of my sister in law and said smile like her. Finally we got something out of her.
Alot of the kids that I do especially the boys when trying to get them to look somewhere specific and smile they always laugh and move around then turn their eyes to either their parents or to the monitor just as I am about to click it. So they turn out looking demonic or like goofy.

STUFF THAT MAKES ME MAD: Parents who change their kids clothes more than twice and don't buy any of the additionals pictures. Getting mad at me cause I deleted a picture that was the best one out of the 5 we have tried, but they didn't like where one person was looking. Not understanding that the package picture can not be altered. Coming in late for an appointment and getting mad cause I took someone else that was there. I already gave them 10 minutes. Making a mess and not cleaning it up. Making me sit there forever to get the right picture and giving up and leaving. Yelling and threatening the kids, (yeah that will make them smile real big). Not satisfied with ANY of the pictures but everyone else thinks they are turning out perfect. Wanting a picture to look exactly like a picture that was taken a few months ago by a totally different person and company. Bringing in kids for pictures that are obviously sick. Making an appointment for ALOT of people then cancelling. Showing up 30 minutes before we close wanting to take pictures. Arriving while we are away and getting management because we are not their. YOU KNOW WE DESERVE BREAKS AND LUNCHES ALSO.

Anyways that is my blog for today. I wanted to do this daily but whew when you work, take people to work, and come home to cook and clean you dont have time to do a daily blog. So I will trying to get in when I can.