Acceptance

All your life of growing up you just want to be accepted. Be a part of a crowd instead of a loner. Everywhere you go people are in groups. In highschool it was the skaters, jocks, cheerleaders, stoners, etc. In adult hood it is co-workers, old friends, herpers, etc. Even in these groups they were sectioned off. In highschool my group was the stoners/skaters. But in adulthood it is whoever will talk to me. Which seems to be the old people. For people like me it was a tough job finding and keeping a friend. One because I was a military brat the other was I had a different way of life. I did everything I could think of to have friends. I bought people stuff, was friendly to everyone, always willing to help everyone and do anything for anyone. Even in adult hood I do the exact same thing.
I want to be noticed. I want people to know I am here. I stand out on purpose because I want people to acknowledge me. If anything was to ever happen to me I want people to wonder what happened to me and ask around for me. MANY people look at me as too social, too perky, and well odd. I accept that. That is how people will remember me.
I barely have any friends at all. Now my husband has ALOT of friends. He thinks he don't but I can't even count all of his on my fingers, I have 2 and neither live in the this city. One is not even in the same state. Not only does he have a lot of friends but 3 different groups. He has co-workers, Herpers, and old Friends. My 2 friends are old friends. Like 13 years ago type old. Highschool friends old.
Quite recently lately, every weekend, my husband has been getting invited to events. Which is nothing new. He is always being invited to concerts, camping, out of town trips, movies or to dinner. Lately I have been getting invited to these get togethers. Now don't get me wrong I have been invited before but only by his highschool friends. It took some of them a little bit to even accept me into the circle. Now every weekend I have been going to bars with my husband and meeting up with his co-workers. A small few already new me but now A LOT do. They buy me drinks, sing with me, and even socialize with me. Now I do not know if I am personally being invited to their little parties or if my husband is dragging me but they do not seem to mind. Unless I am more nieve than I thought I was. They welcome me, and give me hugs when I gotta leave. It feels really good to be noticed. Though I know they will never call me on the phone and personally invite me somewhere or ask me to do something with them without my husband but that is totally fine with me. Most wives just sit at home while their husbands go gallivanting around town with his friends. It is not quite as fun if they were my friends but I do keep entertained. Though when they talk shop......... I am WAY outta the loop. I only slightly comprehend the conversation.
Anywho... so I am happy on the weekends. It may not be my friends and my day off, it may not be where I wanted to spend my weekend but I enjoy myself and I accepted for who I am.