Everyone is a little racist

Now I know this land was originally owned by the Indians and we invaded them, but we learned their ways. Then we came to be the minority. Now we are not even the minority. We crossed the ocean looking for spices. Everyone else crossed the border looking for a place to live. Probably because they bred themselves out of their own towns.

I have lived in this state since 1992. Roughly a year after I had arrived, I became a bit fearful of Hispanics, because there was 3 different gangs in the neighborhood, that all surrounded my parents house. Shootings all the time and not always at the other gangs either, they shot each other. It became hard to walk to a friends house or school without looking around every corner. I will not say that I am a full blown racist but I do hold a marker on certain races. I have many friends who are not white. In fact most of the people who work in the building I am in are spanish. Just from where I am sitting I only see one white person but her husband is Hispanic. Even the blacks are semi rare around here. Though in other states they are the majority. If you border Mexico you have a Hispanic problem. Kinda like roaches, or rats. My husband even has some really good friends that are Hispanic. I love them. My best female friend just married into a Hispanic family. I love her husband. But there are two kinds of Hispanics. There are the mexicans and the puerto ricans. You can tell them apart. The mexicans always look dirty, they stare at you, play there music at all hours of the night as loud as possible, breading like bunnies, and argue with anyone who looks at them. The puerto ricans are polite, willing to learn, work for their money, and always are clean shaven. The ones I am talking about in this blog... the mexicans.

M= messy
E= egotistical
X= xenodiagnosis (you got to look that one for yourself)
I= ignorant
C= careless
A= arrogant
N= nuisance

Now, I lived in Japan for a total of 6 years, it was 2 separate tours but I learned Japanese while I was there. I was only 7 the first time and 13 the second time. I learned their customs, took part in the festivities, and I listened to the their music. I even wore their ceremonial gowns. Now I am a civilian and back in the United States of AMERICA and I see more people here that don't speak the language than the ones who do. Even in Japan they attempted to speak english. Everywhere I go all I hear is baka baka baka. At work, the gas station, or even the theatres. It sucks walking into a McDonald's to place an order and you have to ask for a another cashier who speaks english. Or walking into a Target and you are the only white person in the place. Not only that, you see the kids in the store knocking stuff off the shelves or ripping off the wrapper to touch what is inside. I went to south Arizona on one of our snake hunting trips and we had stopped in Nogales, on the american side. I was looking for shoes that I desperately needed. I first walked into a payless. (This is a born and raised american store). As I looked up to see what isle I needed to be in, I found that it was not english. None of the sizes or signs were in english. We immediately left and went to K-Mart. It was the same thing. I stood at the front near the registers and asked each cashier if they spoke english. Only one did and barely. I asked her where Wal-Mart was. Yeah we got lost trying to find it. They can't even give good directions. We ended up waiting till we got closer to the city and bought my shoes american. At least the signs here were spanish and english.

Hell if your kids go to school it is a requirement that they take spanish classes. The spanish kids don't have to take english classes though. You can't get a good paying job unless you are bi-lingual. Most places pay five dollars more an hour if you also speak spanish fluently. Guess who is getting those jobs. Speaking of jobs. Try offering to mow your neighbors yard and a hispanic comes along and will do more for less. There went your fair money. Even the day labor jobs are scarce to come by. Unless you stand in the Home Depot parking lot your not going to get those pay per day jobs like, digging a ditch, painting a house, or even plow the fields. Even then your chances are slim because the other races will do it for half the price. And they cant seem to go anywhere without the whole family. You will always see them climbing out of the car, looking very similar to a clown car. It is not just mom, dad, and two kids. It will be mom, dad, six kids, the grandparents, and their brothers and sisters. You will notice that none of them had a seat belt on and none of the kids are in car seats. Is like they can't have two kids and be done and they must always travel in herds.

Even in my profession I have to deal with the no english customers. I get frustrated. Most of the time I can not find a translator I can borrow for 15 minutes. Sometimes I am lucky enough to get them when they are making an appointment and I can tell them to bring a translator, preferably not a kid. If they can't I schedule them to return when my spanish associate is here or direct them to another studio. Lately they have been stupider than usual (which is saying alot) . They either bring the child translator or nothing at all and get mad at me because I can not speak spanish. I have learned enough spanish to explain certain things and complete one process. After that I need help. Even with my spanish they seem to be unable to comprehend what I am talking about. After a year of speaking it a customer notified me that there are two dialects of spanish the same as americans do. There is slang and etiquette. Obviously I am speaking etiquette. I learned from a spanish english dictionary.

It seems to me they have troubles comprehending things. I don't even know how most of them obtain some of things they get. Like driving. It is like they can't read what the signs say and do the speed limits that are in Mexico not here. They will pull out in front of cars going 40-70 miles an hour. Then they slow down to half of the speed limit almost causing them to get rear ended. (BTW in Arizona if you hit someone from behind it is your fault no matter what). They speed up to get in front of you when they are trying to get on or off the freeway then slow down way slower that the speed limit. What is funny is that when you drive by the person who just pulled out in front of you they are 90% of the time hispanic. Take a look for yourself. Wait til someone does something stupid in front of you. As you drive to get pass them glance over... I like to call them S.F.M's (stupid fucking mexicans). Then when you do pass them, you can pretty much bet they always look at you like it was your fault. They always have to stare at you, it is not a glance or checking you out. Whether they are in there car driving or sitting in front of a business they stare. They will watch you from the time you get out of your vehicle until you have walked inside. Even the kids do it. You will sit at a restaurant and their kid will stand on the seat look over the back of the chair and watch you eat. I know I am funny looking and over weight but they don't have to stare.

I have been working since I was 15 just to afford a life especially a vehicle. I am now 31 and I just got a car of my very own last year. It is in my name and I am the primary driver on it. If it was not for my husband I would still be living in apartments. I acquired my house 7 years ago. Now these hispanics. Fucking Hell. They come to the US and immediately they have a 2 story house, 2 cars one being an escalade, get food stamps, state assistance and all they do for work is day labor from the Home Depot Parking lot. But not only do they cross the border illegally they also bring all 7 of their kids, their kids-kids, their grandparents from both sides, and their brothers and sisters. I can't even get food stamps. I am scrimping and saving just to have food in the house and pay my electricity. How fucking fair is this?

When your watching the news and you hear about a dumb ass that walked into a business during business hours to rob them. Or sticking up a bank or quicky mart without disguising themselves. Gas station explodes when driver takes off with fuel pump still attached. Finding children wandering the streets only in a diaper. (This one I don't get when every hispanic has 8+ people living in the house.) They are all hispanics. How bout the ones you see in person. A man reaching his hands into the ice machine instead of using the ice dispenser. Kids climbing on dangerous things or playing where they are not supposed to and the parents not scolding or making them leave. Watching the kids do something wrong and just ignoring it. Clearly seeing a road is closed or the doors to a store are blocked off and going between the barriers and making there way through. Letting the kids stand in the shopping carts. Walking down the isle and pushing the cart to the right at an angle then looking at something on their left. Totally blocking the isle. Backing out onto the main road, not looking, and hit someone then run with their bumper dragging on the ground. Kids pushing their fingers into the holes of the soda dispensers. Jaywalking through a very busy street with two kids in a stroller and three more following behind. Dressing their children like tramps (short skirts, high heels, halter tops) and get mad when a someone looks at her wrong. Taking a piss out in the open on the side of a house or building. Kids sticking there fingers in the food at buffets or putting a piece of food in their mouth and throwing it back. Getting upset with people because they do not speak spanish. The kids standing in the back seat, or climbing from the front to the back while the car is in motion. No kids in car seats. Or they see someone waiting for a parking spot and because the person backed out toward them they steel the spot.

The black people here are not as bad but you can always tell where they are. Just listen to them talk. Not all are like this. There are two breeds of blacks. There are the ones who are like they are from the Bronx and the others who are not. The ones that are from the Bronx are the ones that talk VERY LOUD. It is like they are always in a crowded room and are trying to out talk the noise. Even in theatres they talk loud. They all have to swear, and they all start a confrontation with anyone. They like to play music as loud as they can get it in the middle of the night so people can hear it in there sleep. The other blacks are more composed. They have manners, and are polite.

As you can see mexicans and Bronx blacks have allot in common. I am pretty sure that I am going to piss off allot of people. But you know what kiss my ass. I bitch about it every single day, and now I got it in here. Anyways, It is like trailer trash version and middle class. Even the whites are marked. So we are not perfect either. I am no where close to being trailer trash, but I AM better than the ones mentioned above.

I do it for you

I know that this blog is going to make me sound whiney but this is my blog and I will write what I want. Just like in all my other blogs I am speaking my mind, and this one is about how I give to all and do everything else that everyone wants to do and I get nothing. There are alot of things that I want in my life. Every time I want to accomplish them or obtain them I end up giving everyone else what they wants instead. It has been like this my whole life. Not only with my husband but with everyone. Is like love and friendship dominates my wants.

Back in highschool, I would have plans to do something with my boyfriend, that I have been wanting to do, or planned for, and if he wanted to do something else, then boom we were doing what he wants to do. I never complained or even spoke up about my wants. I just went with the flow. My friends would ask me what I wanted to do and I would mention something that interested me, they would go along with it and at the last minute find something else to do. I would also buy extra for lunch to share with other people, but knowone would return the favor. I would buy candygrams for many people and none would come to me. I always give....

After highschool,the guys I dated,which was not many,I surrended to their needs. I would want to have Taco Bell and they would chose filibertos (yuck). I would want to stay home and watch a movie they would want to hang out at a friends house. I would want to have a romantic night they would want to go to the bar. It was basically here that I didn't bother trying to do what I wanted to do anymore. I let everyone else make the decisions and they attached the leash. I am a a really giving person. When it is not a gift giving day I am still buying gifts to show the person how much I care about them. Something to brighten their day. It may be something small or something huge depends on what it is and how far away certain days of celebration are. But I am always thinking of someone else when I go anywhere. 'my mother would love this doll, how much is it'.

It is the same now in married life. But now when I am looking at stuff I am thinking, 'my husband would want this, how much is it.' When it comes to going places, yeah he asks me what I want to do but then says no. Reasons... it is too far away, we don't have enough money, that is the other direction, I don't feel like that, why don't we just..... and I surrender immediatly. I am not one for confrontation. Though my husband will dispute that, I am confrontational towards him all the time, according to him.

I will go, as far as going somewhere that I don't want to, or visiting someone that I dislike, just to be with him. To a degree that is certain people I WILL NOT go out with. If I don't go I will end up sitting at home all day and night alone. For instance... I am not that fond of the food place Chipotle or In N Out, he gets to eat at these places once or twice a week. I will go there and find something to eat because that is what my husband wants to eat. I don't like stupid comedies like Naked Gun and Delta Farce but I will watch them because my husband wants to. And I am not as excited about snake hunting. I do enjoy it sometimes but only during the good seasons when you actually see stuff. He likes to do it all year long, every single day, from sunset to sunrise. At the movies I say I want to see a certain movie and he will say people are saying so and so movie is awesome. That is where we will end up. I see my movie when it is comes out on tv.

I have stuff I like to do and places I like to go. I love thrill rides. I am addict towards fairs and such. Every year I would go to the fair and spend a whole day there. Now I am lucky if I get to go every couple of years. My husband only likes roller coasters. Anything that goes backwards or upside down he will not get on. So I am usually stuck riding with a stranger. The last time I went was like 3-4 years ago and I took my brother just so I could I ride with someone I knew. I enjoy horseback riding. Horses are my favorite animal. I used to go every year in July now it is every 4-5 years. I like swimming whether it is down the river, in a pool, or at a lake. Now it has to be a group activity that is planned roughly every 2 years. I love watching cartoons and kids shows. Now I only do that on my days off when my husband is not home. He got upset one day because I watched nothing but cartoons and animal shows. Now when he is home I am watching the news and regular tv shows.

Just once a year I want to indulge in my activities. Once a year I want to go horseback riding, once a year I want to go to the fair, once a year I want to go swimming. Many times a year I want a gift from out of the blue, for no reason, just for me. One I don't have to start a fight or ask for to get. I want flowers.... I know I said that I didn't care about them but I want the other people to be jelous that the love of my life loves me and he is not scared to show it. I want a suprise visit at work, just to have lunch or tell me that he loves me. I want to partake in my activities without having to drag someone else along. I want for me for once. Gimmie!!! I give everyone everything they want, when do the favors get returned.

Knowing my husband as well as I do. He will read this blog and then do something I want to do. He always does this. This is one of my ways that I get him to buy me stuff. I start a fight or mention it to someone and within a few days I got a surprise. Or I get to go somewhere I wanna go. Anyways that is my wine fest.