I have lost my brother. He has been the closest sibling to me. I love him madly and miss him much, but alas I have been removed from his life. And because of things he has said about me I was forced to remove him from mine. Which basically killed me. I made him hate me so much. There was name calling and all I called him was a male slut who moved to fast in relationships. He called me shallow, pathetic, and nuts. Not to mention a pity case. My heart screamed that he would degrade me like that. All because I said wait.
Until recently we had a great relationship. I always invited him to do stuff with us and go places. We would go on long hunting trips. But lately we have been getting farther and farther apart. Separated because I asked him to wait a year or so before getting engaged or moving his latest love interest in. Though the way he acts it is like I told him his woman was trailer trash and dispose of the hoe. I don't see what is wrong with asking him to take it slow. I have watched him go through many relationships. Many he said he loved immensely. Many ending with them being clingy, possessive, and a little off their rockers. Well because I wouldn't immediately give my approval of this latest girl he began getting hateful.
My brother has always asked my opinion on his female interests. The reason he does this is because I can sense if they are good people. My senses are usually correct. BUT he ends up finding out on his own because he does not listen to me. His latest love interest has caused our relationship to be destroyed. I never said that I disliked her. I never even said break up with her. But because I said wait, not to move her in or get engaged he began hurting me verbally. Then disowned me.
He met this woman (flavor of the month) over a year ago. At the time the argument started he told me that he had been with her for 6 months. If that were true then he had cheated on her with a woman from Tucson. The Tucson woman is one of the many reasons I ask him to wait. He had been talking to her online and when he had gone on a snake hunting trip with my husband, he had this woman meet him somewhere. They left my husband to walk around a store while they took off. His first time meeting her in person he let her give him a blow job. They were gone for two hours. I was pissed and disgusted at the same time. Two months later he found out that this woman was a mental case. But not before they started talking about her moving in with him.
One thing that has always bugged me about my brother is that he is a womanizer. Everywhere he would go he would pick up a woman. He would be with someone and still hitting on others. A male slut is what I called him. I accepted it but always asked that he take it slow. He is notorious for having a new woman every month. Even if she only lasted a day. That is how all his women came to be called flavor of the month.
Anyways this last female he is with as caused a serious sibling rivalry. I picked up no wrong signals from her but I still was leery. He invited her everywhere that he went. To the bar, to my baby shower, to dinner,. I got irked by him, not her, when he invited her to our annual camping trip. Every year my husband and I leave for a week or two and go down south for a camping/hunting trip. We invited my brother and many of our friends to come with us. He took it upon himself to invite his new girlfriend. I said NO! I was not willing to bring a complete stranger out to the middle of no where with us. It pissed him off so much that he refused to go without her. We went without him.
I attempted to get to know her. I talked to her when she came to the bar, and when she helped my mom move into her house. She was ok just a little clingy. Every time you would look at my brother and her they were all over each other. Which is how it was with all the women he has been with. I let it slide because that is how he is with women. But I still tried to get to know her. She even sorta redeemed herself when she new what book I was talking about and said she would give it to me. BTW still waiting.
Months pass and I have my baby. I kept asking him to come and see him but my brother was preparing to go on a cruise, with his new girlfriend. It was for a wedding. When he came back he messaged me and said they were engaged. I got a little upset. I said really? Geeze you just couldn't wait. He told me not to start. I said isn't this a little rushed. He told me conversation was over.
Here began the my brother hates me saga.
My husband is on facebook making a post about him going fishing with friends. One of our friends replied with did grandma buy the baby a fishing pole. I replied with no and that I would n0t let her I and put my foot down. I then posted that she did not buy him anything for Christmas... but that is when my Internet went down. (I use an ipod touch for facebook. It drops connection). I could not get back online for 7 hours. (I figured my post didn't go through and didn't worry about it). When I came back on my brother had gone on a rant. He was saying that my mother did not need to buy him anything since she had come all the way down here from Kansas to babysit. He also went on to state that I was suffering from PPD (postpartum depression). He stated that I needed to go to see a doctor because I was snapping at everyone and making people feel sorry for me. He also had to mention his girlfriend while he was at it. Making it known that I was not happy for his new relation.
I got very upset at the fact that he was calling me crazy. Also that he did not even give me a chance to reply. He just read that my mom bought the baby nothing and went off on me. I got super pissy. I rebutted with telling him that I did not appreciate him calling me crazy, that I didn't get to finish that message, that he needed to back off. He jumped on again saying that I was a pulling a pity party. Not giving anyone else a chance to say anything. He also told me to watch what I say since his youngest son could be reading what I was writing. I deleted his next post because of language. Which pissed him off. I claimed I removed them because I didn't want his son seeing him cussing, the real reason was because he kept saying I had issues and was nuts. He then disowned me as his sister. The funny thing is that you can't see peoples posts unless you are on their friends list. He has never asked to be our friends so he couldn't have seen anything.
I decided to let him cool off.
So a month passes. After not seeing any of his posts or commentary from mom, I figured he had cooled off a little. When suddenly he jumped me again. I don't even remember what triggered it this time but it was the end. He again said I needed to see a shrink and stop making the world feel sorry for me with one sided stories. He said that I was airing my dirty laundry. He said that I shouldn't advertise how unhappy my marriage was and pathetic my life was. I started boiling with anger. I could not believe he was attacking my life. I could not believe he was still pissed at me. Over a woman. He made it clear that he didn't care about me anymore. He also made it clear that I was burdening my mother by leaving my son with her all the time. I did it on Saturday nights so I could go to the movies or dinner. My son is to young to be out in public yet, and I am not one of those morons who bring a baby to the movies. SO, ANYWAYS..... grandma time got dramatically cut short. Of course that took away my personal time too. Now either he goes with me or I don't go anywhere. I bring grandma along on his adventures so she can spend time with him. To avoid igniting my brother and his hatred towards to me I have removed him from everywhere so he can't butt into my life and call me a psycho. Removed from facebook, myspace and yahoo messenger.
So now my brother has abandoned me. I was left for another woman. I don't know what to do about him. It is pointless to make amends as he so clearly no longer gives a rats ass about me. I guess saying wait is a four letter word you don't say to someone who is obviously obsessing over someone else. All they hear is fuck them break up.
So here I am with a 2 month old son that has never met uncle Kieth, and probably never will because you don't tell someone not to rush into a relationship.
Like my husband said.... we rushed into our relationship moving in together 5 months after we started talking. He was the only guy I ever rushed into.
My friends said let him screw up his own life he was a big boy......... I just didn't want to see him get screwed over again.
