I have the hardest time explaining to anyone, even the doctors, my pain. As in the previous post I have emotional pain. But what I have been experiencing for the past couple years is physical pain. Physical pain that has gotten so much worse over the years.
It all started two years into working with the the portrait studio. The company mandated that we wear flat black shoes. No laces. I was unaware at that time that we were never permitted to sit down. If we were not in a session with the customer, we cleaned. If we were not cleaning we were walking the floor to get customers. Even when we were doing cold calls we still stood up. Those flat shoes provided no comfort. By the end of the day the bottoms of my feet were rubbed raw. Then I began limping. I finally had to go to the doctors where they found a hole in my heal. The bone was being worn away. I was given cortozone shots and pain killers. A year later my other foot followed suit. Now both of my heals were damaged.. I was put in sleeping braces for my feet, and special orthopedics for my shoes. Along with a doctors note that stated I needed to wear tennis shoes. But the job was not done with me. Due to the fact that we always worked alone anytime we got new promotions, props or equipment it was our job solely to set it up. So while trying to shoot customers, acquisition customers, clean, and cold call. We were also climbing ladders, that we borrowed from the host store, or moving studio equipment around to make accommodations. Some host stores were jerks so we would resort in climbing the studio equipment. It ended up putting a lot of wear and tear on my back. Now I have holes in my heals and a sore back. As the years progressed the job got more demanding on my body. I had hurt myself pretty bad at work, torn something in my left calf, which took me out of commission for a few months. Installation of curtains and the removal of the table did numbers on the knees. Getting down on the floor to set a pose or show a pose, was apparently too much bending. The weight of the curtains/blankets to bring home for weekly washing, always on my feet, the weekly promotional changes that needed ladders, the constant getting on the floor, jumping and fast feet, eventually after 9 years of service it killed me. I would just about need a walker every night after I got off work. That's why I never sat down right when I got home. I would immediately cook dinner. In the mornings it took me a few minutes to walk 30 feet. I have fallen a few times trying to get up suddenly.
Eleven years later I feel like my body is dying. I have contributed to the pain by playing on the floor with my son, working out at the gym and walking a lot. Well the gym and the walking got cancelled due to my husband telling me I need to quit because of financial issues. So my weight is also factored into the development. I have seen a podiatrist ( he just kept giving me pain meds and cortozone shots). I have gone to pain management (quit because I was in more pain after every session). I have seen a bone doctor (only needed once). I have also seen a nerve doctor (quit because of finances). Apparently I have a mild scoliosis in my lower back. Arthritis in my knees and a bone disfigurement in my feet. YAY me. But yet I do not qualify for disability.
My current status in pain can only be described as my are legs are painfully spasming. I am terrified to drive. I was on a restless legs pills and a nerve medicine but I am now out. I am not planning on getting the prescriptions refilled as our insurance has kicked into us paying. Dave's medicine is more important. I have also quit seeing all my doctors for now. We do not have the finances and Rilee's doctors are also more important. My best option is just to keep hiding the pain from my husband. He really only notices when I have to get up. Except lately the pain has been a bit intense.
Developed a pain in my left arm. It feels like it was hit with a baseball bat. I have difficulty performing anything that requires more than 5 pounds of pressure. I am a full blown righty at this moment. I was rubbing my temple last night and came in contact with a sore spot on my forehead. A spot that felt like I had banged it on something. It quickly erupted into a migraine. I woke with it being incredibly worse.
When I get up in the morning my toes are refusing to touch the ground. They will point in the air. When I force the foot flat it feels like the bones in my feet have a pressure on them, and it hurts. By the end of the night my back is in refusal of mobility. I can not walk normal any distance without a limp or being angled funny. Stairs are a whole new adventure. I have found walking like a crab reduces the pain. My calves wretch in pain if I step to many times over the child gates, laundry day is notorious for that. My hands ache. I can not make a tight fist. My hands tingle when I do. My mom keeps saying that maybe the Fibromyalgia is kicking in. I am thinking that I am going to be in a wheelchair by next year.
I have been suffering from restless leg syndrome for years but in the past two years I have also developed restless arm syndrome. I can fix the legs by pacing for 10 minutes. The arms I can't figure out. I look like a dog having a bad dream in bed. Flailing my legs and my arms around trying to subdue them both. I then stand up and swing my arms everywhere. I went 3 days of very little sleep because of the pain and the restlessness. Averaging 2-3 hours a day. Doubling my percocet one night finally made me sleep.
The migraines. Holy crap and they are ruthless. If I wake up with one then I know it is going to be around all day long. I have gotten some where all light and sound affect me. Even had some where the pain was so intense that I started vomiting. sometimes the pain in my legs makes me vomit too. Have yet to find something to relinquish the pain. I never got migraines while I was smoking pot. Was never sick period.
The only medication I take now is percocet and vitamin 600+ D. I do it because of finances. I want my husband and my kid fixed first. As long the world don't know I hurt the less they can make me feel bad for being so messed up. Why am I being punished.
It all started two years into working with the the portrait studio. The company mandated that we wear flat black shoes. No laces. I was unaware at that time that we were never permitted to sit down. If we were not in a session with the customer, we cleaned. If we were not cleaning we were walking the floor to get customers. Even when we were doing cold calls we still stood up. Those flat shoes provided no comfort. By the end of the day the bottoms of my feet were rubbed raw. Then I began limping. I finally had to go to the doctors where they found a hole in my heal. The bone was being worn away. I was given cortozone shots and pain killers. A year later my other foot followed suit. Now both of my heals were damaged.. I was put in sleeping braces for my feet, and special orthopedics for my shoes. Along with a doctors note that stated I needed to wear tennis shoes. But the job was not done with me. Due to the fact that we always worked alone anytime we got new promotions, props or equipment it was our job solely to set it up. So while trying to shoot customers, acquisition customers, clean, and cold call. We were also climbing ladders, that we borrowed from the host store, or moving studio equipment around to make accommodations. Some host stores were jerks so we would resort in climbing the studio equipment. It ended up putting a lot of wear and tear on my back. Now I have holes in my heals and a sore back. As the years progressed the job got more demanding on my body. I had hurt myself pretty bad at work, torn something in my left calf, which took me out of commission for a few months. Installation of curtains and the removal of the table did numbers on the knees. Getting down on the floor to set a pose or show a pose, was apparently too much bending. The weight of the curtains/blankets to bring home for weekly washing, always on my feet, the weekly promotional changes that needed ladders, the constant getting on the floor, jumping and fast feet, eventually after 9 years of service it killed me. I would just about need a walker every night after I got off work. That's why I never sat down right when I got home. I would immediately cook dinner. In the mornings it took me a few minutes to walk 30 feet. I have fallen a few times trying to get up suddenly.
Eleven years later I feel like my body is dying. I have contributed to the pain by playing on the floor with my son, working out at the gym and walking a lot. Well the gym and the walking got cancelled due to my husband telling me I need to quit because of financial issues. So my weight is also factored into the development. I have seen a podiatrist ( he just kept giving me pain meds and cortozone shots). I have gone to pain management (quit because I was in more pain after every session). I have seen a bone doctor (only needed once). I have also seen a nerve doctor (quit because of finances). Apparently I have a mild scoliosis in my lower back. Arthritis in my knees and a bone disfigurement in my feet. YAY me. But yet I do not qualify for disability.
My current status in pain can only be described as my are legs are painfully spasming. I am terrified to drive. I was on a restless legs pills and a nerve medicine but I am now out. I am not planning on getting the prescriptions refilled as our insurance has kicked into us paying. Dave's medicine is more important. I have also quit seeing all my doctors for now. We do not have the finances and Rilee's doctors are also more important. My best option is just to keep hiding the pain from my husband. He really only notices when I have to get up. Except lately the pain has been a bit intense.
Developed a pain in my left arm. It feels like it was hit with a baseball bat. I have difficulty performing anything that requires more than 5 pounds of pressure. I am a full blown righty at this moment. I was rubbing my temple last night and came in contact with a sore spot on my forehead. A spot that felt like I had banged it on something. It quickly erupted into a migraine. I woke with it being incredibly worse.
When I get up in the morning my toes are refusing to touch the ground. They will point in the air. When I force the foot flat it feels like the bones in my feet have a pressure on them, and it hurts. By the end of the night my back is in refusal of mobility. I can not walk normal any distance without a limp or being angled funny. Stairs are a whole new adventure. I have found walking like a crab reduces the pain. My calves wretch in pain if I step to many times over the child gates, laundry day is notorious for that. My hands ache. I can not make a tight fist. My hands tingle when I do. My mom keeps saying that maybe the Fibromyalgia is kicking in. I am thinking that I am going to be in a wheelchair by next year.
I have been suffering from restless leg syndrome for years but in the past two years I have also developed restless arm syndrome. I can fix the legs by pacing for 10 minutes. The arms I can't figure out. I look like a dog having a bad dream in bed. Flailing my legs and my arms around trying to subdue them both. I then stand up and swing my arms everywhere. I went 3 days of very little sleep because of the pain and the restlessness. Averaging 2-3 hours a day. Doubling my percocet one night finally made me sleep.
The migraines. Holy crap and they are ruthless. If I wake up with one then I know it is going to be around all day long. I have gotten some where all light and sound affect me. Even had some where the pain was so intense that I started vomiting. sometimes the pain in my legs makes me vomit too. Have yet to find something to relinquish the pain. I never got migraines while I was smoking pot. Was never sick period.
The only medication I take now is percocet and vitamin 600+ D. I do it because of finances. I want my husband and my kid fixed first. As long the world don't know I hurt the less they can make me feel bad for being so messed up. Why am I being punished.
