Is there Romance after marriage?

What happened to romance? I'm talking about after you have married. They work to impress you but then it's another day at work after you say I DO.

So what you get married and it's all over? No wonder there are so many divorces. The spouse is like ho hum I put a ring on it, now cook clean and care for me and the kids. That's not the 3 c 's I want are compeer , courting, and compassion. Why fight so hard to get that ring if the battle is over after I DO. 

Of all the guys I ever dated I think maybe 3 were full on romantic. They opened doors for me, pulled out my chair, never let me walk by the curb, bought I love you trinkets, wrote poems/songs, made sure the world knew I was his, held me close everywhere, protected me, called just to hear my voice, and would open and close the car door. They were highly attentive to my likes, they would go out of their way to get me something or take me somewhere that I fancied.  I had 20 boyfriends before my husband, and only 3 did that for me. And only one I had sex with.  Has romance just died. It is definitely gone after the I DO.

I see people today that use the Internet to find relationships. They rely on a computer to find their matches. What happened to looking for love? What happened to hookups from friends? What happened to stalking the barrista? Now it's match.com says we're 87% compatible. Next thing you know it's I DO.

I'm still romantic. I'm forever thinking of him everywhere I go. Everything I look at I wonder if he would like it. I fix him his favorite meals for dinner.

I write I love you in hot sauce.

I serve him food in bed

and make him breakfast.

When I run up to the gas station I always get him a drink, his favorite chips, or a food he loves.When it is gift season I hunt for something that he can desperately use. I don't buy a movie and a gift card every time. I actually write down stuff that he could use, then when its time, I already have gift ideas. I visit him at work and bring him food or a drink from his favorite places. I text him I love you. I am always thinking of how to make him happy. And I started this before I DO.

Doesn't anyone learn what makes the other one happy anymore? I would get more excited about going horse back riding than getting a gift card. (unless gift card is for horseback riding) I would prefer a box of chocolate covered cherries over going out to dinner. (unless it is oriental) I would jump up and down for a vacation to a theme park, than watch a movie. And no a movie about theme parks does not cut it. But the romance is gone. Now it is just making love. I  guess if you want the romance to be forever don't say I DO.

Paranoia

I have no trust for nobody.

I drive like everyone is out to get me. Like I'm being chased. I hate when anyone follows me for more than 2 miles. If they turn when I turn more than once I will not continue to my destination. I will instead travel to a heavily populated area. Preferably ones with security cameras.I will wait through a lot of traffic til a really safe opening has appeared.

I always think someone is up to something. Especially when they become really super nice. People are not really nice to me unless they want something. Or if they have done something bad. I watch everyone around me. I don't leave my property to far out of my sight. My purse is always attached. If I'm staying somewhere and need to leave my stuff, I stack it in a way that if it's touched I will know. If I let someone use, say my lighter, I will eyeball that thing till I have it again. Yes I have trust issues.

All through my life I have had things stolen from me. Toys, money, boyfriends, food, positions at work. The one that bugged me the most was my zippo. I had an x boyfriend over and he had  brought friends. One of his friends took the zippo. Now my x knew it was mine and took it back. I had that thing while in high school. But of course he lost it in his house. I never saw it again. I was only attached to it cause my jail bird brother had given it to me. It was all black with a skull on it. Looked like this.

When I was in high school my little click I hung out with were thieves too. They stole cigarettes and money. Mostly it was the girls going after every other girls man. I swear it was a game of share what ya got. I usually got the guys twice.In the middle then at the end. I slept with none of them but they all came back.

At my jobs I would be the hardest working person there. Always on time. Always doing my job and other peoples jobs. I brought more money in than any other associate. I would chauffer people to and from work. I would drive to other locations to fix stuff. I never wanted the district manager position.. Though I did play district manager when ours was out medically or when we did not have one period. But when raises were getting passed around I was skipped. Because I did not bring in more customers I was not allowed. Though I was the one who was doing everyone elses job. The ones who always called in and were late got the raise.

Even as a young kid other kids stole my toys. They went home with my dolls or cars.

After highschool I had guys who cheated on me. This forever scarred me. Even now in marriage I feel my husband is stepping out on me. They Stole my stuff and sold it. Everyone who came over  I watched intently. I locked all the rooms they did not need to be in. I still do it.  Whenever someone goes into another room I listen that they are not wondering into other areas.

So I am sure you can see where my trust issues come from.