Thursday afternoon, 1:00 p.m., there is a knock on the door. I look through the window to see 2 women standing there. I open the door slightly bracing my foot against the door. (I'm wary of everyone) They identify themselves as D. C. S. My jaw drops. I tell them to hold on so I can put my dog away. I returned and let them in. When new people enter my house I always ask are you allergic to cats or dogs. I promptly removed the cats.
They both sat side by side and explained to me that they were called because of a half dollar sized, raised bruise on my son's wrist.
Twenty minutes later we returned. I sent him to get changed and I checked my house for cleanliness. Thankfully I had speed cleaned my house that morning as Cox Communications were to come that same morning. I was glad they had already come and gone. The ladies arrived 5 min later. My son heard the knock on the door and looked out the window. He then announced that the women had talked to him at school. Knowing how my son is I actually got worried. I go to the window and tell them hold on need to lock up the pets again. I let them in again. We all sat down but we could not talk as my son was adamant that the girls were going to play with him. Eventually one of them took him into his room so that the grown ups could talk. They learned real quick that he does not listen to me. It was not going to happen any other way. Man I was happy his room was clean.
Finally we could get down to business. She explained to me that they had already talked to my son and he had told them daddy hit him with a wooden spoon and that was how he got the bruise. He also told her that we lock him in the closet for days. Again my jaw dropped. I explained to her that the dog had jumped on him and made him smack his wrist on the table. She repeated the story but said the dog lunged. I explained he is not aggressive to anyone in this house and that he is a jumper. That's why he gets locked up when people come over. And cause he happy pees. I also explained to her that the spoon he refers to is a visual stimulant only. We hold it up to threaten him. I even showed her the spoon.
I explained that the mark could never have been made by this spoon. I sat back down and then onto the closet convo. I told her that a doctor, a behavioral specialist told us too. I made it clear that the longest visit was 15 min and we ceased in doing this when he was 3. I went as far as giving her the name of his Special needs doctor, melmed, that had interestingly enough had replaced him. She didn't even ask for it. I also provided her with his primary care info. I was opening doors for her to look into us deeply. Showing I was not hiding anything. She told me the school had mentioned he is autistic and displays aggression. She asked me what I do when I am stressed. I said smoke. Of course I got reprimanded for this. But I said it's better than me screaming my head off at him. I told her I am only gone for at the most 10 min and I keep checking on him through the window. I explained he was not trustworthy and had a tendency to lock doors and torment the animals. I also said I take long baths after he goes to bed. She then asked me questions like if I had any Indian heritage. I said yes. If I had been in an abusive relationship. I said not with my husband but the guy before him yes. She asked if I reported it and I said no I was too scared. She asked about drugs and alcohol. I said my husband moved me away from the drugs in 99, and I drink once every 2 years, and I leave for 24 hours as I don't do it near my son. She asked for my social security number. She also asked how we do punish him. I said we make him stand in the corner or we do criss cross apple sauce on the couch. She asked about his tablet and his playstation. I told her he does not get it if he was not green at school. He does not get the tablet if he was in the red at school or is disobedient at home. But I also explained that if he just extremely uncontrollable we give him the tablet to bring him down from his bout of anger. Finally the interview was over. She took a tour of the house to make sure we had food and running water. She explained she needed to speak to my husband alone. I explained his only available day is Sunday or Monday. She said she would contact him Monday for a time. Then they left. SOCIAL PUNISH
The whole weekend we were stressed. We were also not happy with the kid for telling lies.
Monday finally rolled around. Got the kid off to school and then waited. Dave called her in the morning to set a time but she was still unsure of when she would make it. Brownie points for him. She arrived around 3:30. The kid and I were just packing into the car to leave. I had to run back into the house twice cause I forgot stuff. I over heard on the final exit that he will not be taken by the state at this time. That was good enough for me.
I returned an hour later. My husband was not as social about the conversation like I was, plus his memory is crap, but these are things he told me. How do you discipline him? Asked for his social and made it clear that he was helpless to the fact that they could take him. They called off the cops though she is not sure they still won't visit. There is no way the wooden spoon left that mark. That the kid said I was the one who hit him with the spoon. I guess they were satisfied as the said they'll be in touch.
Now I know it was the school. Nobody is going to fess up. After the dog pushed him down, nobody has seen him but us and the school. I've been holding a grudge against them for it. But I'm not letting them know it affected me. I've been acting like business as usual. They have been avoiding me.
I was ready for another sit down with them. I wanted to tell them that if I was a bad parent why would I still have all the safety precautions up. IE... outlet covers, doorknob covers, cabinet locks. The medications are at a high level and child gates, or locked doors, block him from entering rooms he is not permitted in. Why do I keep and emergency bag in my car. I would also go on to explain that if I was a bad parent I wouldn't sit with him during his baths. I wouldn't keep hold of his hands every time we walked near cars. I wouldn't be adamant that he eats all his food. That I do not permit him sodas and junk food except on special occasions. I don't let him run off and do whatever he wants. When out in public or at a friends house, I am always 2 feet behind keeping him from getting into stuff that is not his, or doing something dangerous. How many parents you know do that.
