Absolute complete and utter bullshit. I mean seriously WHAT THE FUCK!!! Why do people ignore me and hate me? When I talk to my mom on the phone, unless it's in an answer to her question, she does not listen to anything I say. She is too busy watching TV. When I talk to my husband he completely ignores me because he is watching TV or looking at stuff on his phone. I send him text messages and private messages that he just swipes away. I tagged him in post on Facebook and he never responds to them. On Facebook in our nature group I will post pictures and 5500 members will ignore me. Not one comment just fucking thumbs ups. For the record I hate those things. I want input, I want to know what people think of my pictures. I comment on every single one of their Post in the group . I can understand if it was one maybe two posts but it is every single post. I have a whole two friends. One is not even on my Facebook but I did talk to him later that day and told him I was writing a short story to possibly get published and looking for public opinion. He didn't even offer to read it. My other friend best I can guess she did not see the post. I try to let everybody know I'm here but nobody wants to know I'm there.
But the one that got me was the other day. I got the chance to submit a short story to a publisher. All I wanted was for some people to give me feedback on the short story. I wasn't going to submit it unless I got five people to give me criticism. In a Facebook post I said "I need somebody to read a story I wrote. It's a short story. I need brutal honesty. Adds/removals/rewording/grammatical. Need to submit it Monday.". I got a whole 2 replies. I sent both of them the story in Facebook Messenger. Only one replied back. I private messaged 2 others, one is a teacher who told me to send it to her on Monday. Yep thanks that's useful that's the deadline. The other one told me to send it to her but never bothered giving me feedback.
What in the hell am I doing to people that make them hate me so much. I try my damnedest to be everybody's friend but apparently nobody wants to be my friend. But I want to post it so I decided to put it in my blog. To close.... FUCK YOU ALL FUCK YOU VERY MUCH
: Make Me Go Away: By Ronda Mills
A devoted wife and mother for many decades discovered that her body was dying. Everyday that passed she felt the pain. Every month one more thing in her body began to fail. She could feel it in her bones, she could feel it in her soul, that she did not have long. She started with pushing away friends, conversations on the phone and hanging out were few and far between, then none at all. Pushing away everything she loved but her family, so that she could cherish their every moment together. Everyday she packed herself away. Removing one item a day and putting it into a box crying each time she told it goodbye. The memories tearing into her and the thought of what was to become of her family once she was gone. Items she locked away were things that only meant something to her. Things that would be given to her child when they moved out on their own. What they did with them she did not care for she would never know once she was gone. She looked at the pictures on the walls reminiscing on the memories of when those pictures were taken. How young she was. How much her husband loved her. And how her child had grown. She grabbed her chest and fell to her knees in pain, tears pouring down her face onto her legs. What will happen to them once she is gone she thought. Then she wondered if she should take down the portraits that have her in them. Looking at them would only make their heart scream like hers was at that moment. But she decided it would be their decision as to what was to be done with those. As the months wore on every day she looked for something new to put in the box. And every day she found less and less things to collect. Wishing that she could hit ctrl-alt-delete on the day of her passing, erasing everything that would remind them of her. But she knew that was not possible so she just started to leave tiny notes in only areas that they would find that read I love you. When alone she would cry. She would cry for her husband. She would cry for her child. She would cry that she was going to miss the rest of their lives and being with them. Praying to God that he will make this transaction easy for them. It hurt her so to make herself go away but it would hurt her family less to put her things away. With all her stuff boxed up it made it easier for her family to Let Her Go. No physical items aside from the portraits laid around the home that they had made together. All that was left was for them to donate her clothes to a second hand store and have her cremated then her ashes tossed into the ocean, bag, box and all. She did not even want a grave, as a grave would be yet another item to remember her by. All she wanted was to be forgotten and she started the process for them, to save them from the pain. The last words whispered from her lips into their ears were I love you don't mourn me.
